Meatloaf DV! Will the horror never end?
A Florida man has been charged with domestic violence after , wait for it… smooshing a meatloaf in his wife’s face during an argument!
According to the “victim” she had just told her husband, 39 year old tech nerd Lance Zeigler, that she was leaving him, when the vicious bastard grew irate, picked up the meatloaf she had made to lull him into a false sense of security, and stuck it in her face!
No damage was done of course, it was after all just a meatloaf (a frozen pork chop, now that would have done some damage, in fact i recall that back in the eighties a man was beaten to death with a frozen salami). And was there any evidence of this psycho-nerd’s brutality? Why yes, there was – his wife had some red stuff on her face – but that was ketchup not blood, and apparently there wasn’t much of it .
Lance says nothing happened, but the missus said otherwise so he was charged with Domestic Battery, that’s how easy it is now to get a man locked up – put some ketchup on your face, yell DV at the top of your lungs, and in the slammer he goes! Let’s face it, if Mrs Zeigler is the kind of woman who would have a man charged with DV over such a small thing, Lance should probably be thanking her for wanting to leave him.
Frankly, man or woman, i don’t give a toss if he did do it, it was a fucking meatloaf! What next, charging small children with assault for staging food fights in the cafeteria? Probably, but only the male ones.
Source here.
Found it at the Weekly Vice.
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